Bikita Public Proctor’s wife cheats with ambulance driver 

I don’t know how I am going to express this one because I am sure going to run out superlatives, adjectives, adverbs and all the favourite quotes in every book on this universe. At times if I continue writing these gossip stories I will end up a philosopher. 

Things are getting bad in every sector of the love life that it’s now difficult to define that phase of co-cohabiting or co-existing as a marriage. There is cheating during dating and there is cheating in marriage not to mention other categories of infidelity that include physical infidelity, emotional cheating, cyber infidelity, object infidelity and financial infidelity. 

HOTH has no time to give full details of all those types of cheating but I guess you can find out on your own. It seems that women in Bikita have perfected the art of cheating that it now needs a new definition. They are now cheating at funerals, in the bush with herd boys and even in speeding ambulances. 

Why are you squinting your eyes like that? Yes! You read and heard me correctly. Lemme repeat myself slowly and you should listen and listen good. I said they are now cheating even in speeding ambulances. You think that is impossible? Just wait a minute. I will give you that one very soon. At the moment I am so obsessed with the pastor and his young wife.

Unless you own Muhomba yembambaira you will never understand what it is like dating someone more that half your age. People will end up calling you the owner of Mihomba. Pachishona vanoti Nyamuhomba. Well, I don’t know if that is Chishona and Chimanyika. Haaa! Hameno zvazvo ikoko chero zvikanzi chiChina ndizvozvo because that is not our the subject matter here.

So those who know Bikita I am sure you can vividly remember the loud music belting out of big speakers of a Public Address system. Yes, they will be in the zone because they have stubborn faith baba. The Church is all about stubborn Faith. Voices of the present worship choir will get hoarse as they try to out-sing each other and the PA system as well. 

Other other hand those on the instruments will be strumming the guitars and hitting the drums as their lives depend on it. Yes! You have guessed well. That is the usual scenario at Pentecostal churches. That’s where our Public Proctor conduct his pastoral work.

Our man is a Jack of all trades. At one time he is in that small colonial room where men are forced to wear wigs and he will be fight tooth and nail to send those caught on the wrong side of the law to the big house. He is also an instrumentalist, vocalist and a dancer. 

Now, he has another awkward speciality which many look at with green eyes as they drool with envy. He can strum women pants down, dance his way stupid as he huff and puff hankering for them throughout the night, young, middle-aged or old. So, recently he signed a contract with this 33 year old local-based player. 

Within less than two years in the marriage she recently had sizziling-hot affair nemurume wekufambira chimwe. Unfortunately not this guy. Haana kuzova neFaith kuChurch. Maybe the Ministry did not preach well on kufambira chimwe sadriver weambulance.

 She went down south and in a blink of an eye she is now foreign-based. Some things can change over night kunge maheu wena. So Talent decided to give Muhomba wembambaira to this ambulance driver much to the chagrin of the owner of Mihomba yacho. I mean Nyamuhomba wacho. 

Well, after the owner of Muhomba caught the two love bird enjoying the sacred fruit in our government owned vehicle meant for ferrying very sick patients. Hameno kuti mai mufundisi vakapingwa here because muchinda wacho iMhingwa chaiyo.

I am sure you know the guy. Yes, that one who works a this place in Bikita where they repair human beings. Yaah! It looks like a garage or maybe if I call it a  hospital will sound like a bit decent word. His head is in the same whatsapp group with the Man City boss, Pep Guardiola or Man U boss Eric Ten Hag. So, this guy was hitting Mai Pastor in the ambulance. Hey, this guy have balls.  

 the wife decided to destroy her hubby’s car, smashing all the windows and ripping of the door handles before fleeing to Mzansi. Imi woye zvakaoma hazvo. Ndoyatinoti punishment plus good move. Haungati iwe wacheata woparadza midziyo yangu futi. 

Lastly, I would like to thank HOTH for raising the issue where innocent people were killed by an alleged negligent drunk member of Commercial Bitches of Zimbabwe. HOTH is reliably informed that she was arraigned before a Gutu Magistrate last week and pleaded guilty to the charge. The matter was buried for 12 months only to be revisited after HOTH started to unearth hidden issues. 

The magistrate had no choice but to fine her iwo makwacha edu iwayo ZWL$ 30 000 and ban her from driving for the next 48 months or two years to be precise. This might sound too lenient but what we all know is that mweya yevanhu hairovi. Maybe the problems you are encountering right now zvirikubva ipapa. 

You can bribe your way to freedom but you cannot bribe an avenging spirit. Vana vakasara vari nherera but iwe you are busy bribing officers usingatsvagi a truce with the avenging spirit. Mushonga wengozi kuiripa. You killed innocent people and you are going around seeking sympathy from people. Of course, they can take your side and sympathize with you but if they are not urging you to go and settle your issues with the relatives of the deceased then they are not good friends.

HOTH is not worried if you like his pieces but akuruma nzeve ndewako. You should stop this blame game and face reality. Ko wadii kungotaura nemafamilies acho pane kuswera uchiti HOTH was given information by so and so. Ko iye ndiye anga akadhakwa akatsika vanhu here?

Well, I just wanted you to know that HOTH has no beef with anyone but is the voice of the voiceless. Until next week stay blessed. ADIOS!

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